As much as we love our dogs, they can sometimes be a disruptive presence in more intimate moments.
A recent intimacy report from Superdrug Online Doctor found that 1 in 10 people in the UK say their pet is the biggest barrier to their sex life, citing interruptions, attention-seeking behaviour and a lack of privacy as key issues.
It's something we're seeing play out in online forums, too. On Reddit, one frustrated dog owner wrote: "At the start, he was fine with us being intimate, but over the last few years, it's gotten so difficult to have sex or even kiss. He barks and barks as if he's watching a murder."
It’s a scenario that sounds comical at first, but can become wearing night after night, posing a genuine threat to intimacy.
And while it might seem like a niche problem, Tom Riley, Head of Marketing at Perfect Pet Insurance, says it’s "definitely more common than people admit".
‘Personal space just doesn’t exist to him’
Tom explains that his dog, Buster, can make things "complicated" when it comes to intimacy.
"He's a British Bulldog, so personal space just doesn't exist to him," Tom tells Country Living. "If there’s any sign of affection, he’ll either climb straight in between us or just sit there staring, like he’s trying to work out if something’s wrong."
He continues: "You think you’ve got a quiet evening, and then he’s snoring, pacing, or scratching at the door if we’ve shut him out. It can make intimacy feel like more effort than it should — especially when you’re trying to work around a dog who wants to be involved in everything."
Common complaints among pet owners include constant barking, scratching at doors, wanting to be involved in bedtime routines and intense staring.
"I had a friend who had two greyhounds," explains Penelope*. "Whenever she met a new partner, they would complain about feeling uncomfortable with the dog staring at them, particularly during intimate moments. It was a real barrier to new relationships."
Veterinarian Iryna Smyrnova explains: "Dogs have a strong social bond with their owners, and if they witness some close physical interaction between their owners that they don't understand, it can provoke anxiety or a need to insert themselves."
Why dogs can act up during intimacy
At first, it might seem like jealousy, especially when a dog meets a new partner, but Iryna points out that dog behaviour doesn't mirror human emotions. "In most cases, they are simply responding to unusual sounds, movements, and changes in focus — not really feeling jealous in the way humans do," she says.
However, the relationship as a whole can add another layer of complexity. Changes in household dynamics can trigger anxiety and territorial behaviour in dogs.
"Dogs can be particularly challenging during intimacy in the early stages of a new relationship," Iryna continues. "They are extremely sensitive to changes in their environment and social structure, and a new person can represent a range of uncertainties and potential competition for their owner’s time and attention."
Essentially, it's up to the new partner to build trust with their partner’s pet. Without that trust, dogs may act up more when the new person is physically close.
"If the dog hasn't developed a sense of trust and a positive association with this new person, they may be more clingy, protective, and disruptive during intimate moments," says Iryna.
How to deal with a disruptive dog
"We've tried the usual stuff like giving him a toy, shutting the door, waiting until he's settled, but dogs pick up on any change in routine straight away,: Tom explains. "It's less about fixing it completely and more just managing it."
Iryna advises creating a relaxing environment: "When the dog's needs have been met, provide a comfortable space for them to relax — perhaps a bed or crate with a new toy. Consistency is also really important, as it helps the dog learn they don’t need to insert themselves into this social bond to feel secure."
Some dog owners have found that their pets can sense when intimacy is about to happen and remove themselves from the environment. "Our dog tends to sleep in the bed with us, which could be a challenge for intimacy!" Penelope explains.
"However, he likes his own space too, and has a cosy dog bed set up that he often retreats to if his parents are having a moment together. Some dogs are more territorial; you have to watch their behaviour. One thing that helped was getting Milo as a puppy together, rather than introducing a new partner later."
Couples psychotherapist and clinical sexologist Ness Cooper suggests asking for help in the short term if your dog's antics are preventing intimacy.
"Know when to hire an extra pair of hands," she says. "If you're struggling to fit in time together, a dog walker a few times a week can free up moments for you as a couple. Honest discussion is important, too — focus on ‘I feel X,’ rather than ‘you’ve changed since the dog’ or ‘the dog does this,’ so the conversation doesn’t feel like an attack."
Is it really ok to share a bed with your dog?
Couples who allow their dog in the bed may face more challenges and disturbed nights, but that's not enough to put many dog owners off.
“We've always let the dog in the bed with us — it felt natural, as he's part of the family," Penelope explains. "I know there’s a lot of stigma around that, but people shouldn’t care so much about things that don’t affect them. If it’s not hurting anyone, why be so judgmental?”
Penelope adds: "I genuinely feel it has a positive impact on all of us — my partner, my children, and the dog."
Iryna stresses that co-sleeping preferences are individual to each couple, with positives and negatives on both sides. "It's about agreement between the two parties: whether the situation is comfortable, allows intimacy, and if the dog's behaviour is relaxed and non-confrontational."
Iryna notes that dog cuddles can “have a calming effect, reduce tension, and increase bonding between human and pet”. Though she also advises keeping dogs out of the bedroom if they are prone to anxiety or attention-seeking to help them learn boundaries.
How dogs can bring couples closer
While a disregard for personal space and protective instincts can be stumbling blocks in the bedroom, dogs can ultimately strengthen a couple’s relationship.
After swapping city life for the countryside, dog parents Cat and Oli Barker opened dog-friendly glamping and self-catering stays at Catgill Farm and Howgill Lodge in the Yorkshire Dales, quickly discovering the uplifting impact of pets. “It’s great to see the relationships guests have with their dogs when they visit us — dogs have a way of slowing people down,” the couple explains.
“Couples arrive busy, and then the dog needs a walk, so off they go. Before you know it, they’ve spent hours outside together, talking properly, not rushing anywhere.”
This positive impact is something they’ve seen in their own relationship. “Dogs bring you closer in simple ways,” they say. “You’re doing things together without thinking about it — walking, sitting outside, just being in the same space without distractions.
“When you run a business together, it's easy to be ‘on’ all the time, but the dogs don’t care. They just want to be out with you, and that pulls you back into the moment, usually with whatever antics they've been up to!”
Psychotherapist Ness adds that dogs can help us reconnect with a playful side often lost to adult responsibilities. “A pet may reveal a side of your partner you don’t usually see — more relaxed and playful — which can help them feel more at ease with you and encourage that playfulness between you.”
Davina Gordon, who shares her pet dog Paisley with her partner, matches this sentiment: “There’s no doubt that a dog brings responsibility, but for us, Paisley hasn’t taken away from our relationship; if anything, she’s enhanced it.
"When you feel more connected, more present, and ultimately happier as a couple, that naturally has a positive impact on intimacy too.”
Not only has Paisley improved her relationship with her partner, but it's also helped build trust with her son. "It’s softened our home in a way I didn’t expect," she explains.
"Our son, who was initially unsure around dogs, now hugs, plays with and cares for her instinctively. Watching that relationship develop has been incredibly special. It’s teaching him empathy, responsibility and a genuine respect for animals."
Tom, despite his struggles with Buster, ultimately agrees. "The downside is pretty small compared to what a dog adds overall," he explains. "If anything, it just makes you laugh more and not take things too seriously. You end up figuring it out together.
"He might occasionally ruin the mood — but he more than makes up for it."
*Name and identifying details have been changed
